Hashem, the Name

Held in Your Word

by Christine Colliar

I wait for Hashem, my nefesh doth wait, and in His Devar do I hope. 
(Psalm 130:5, Orthodox Jewish Bible)

 
Out of the depths I call to You, Eternal One,
from the unlit places where words fall away,
from the hollow where breath gathers and breaks;
there, my whole self turns towards You.

I wait for Hashem,
I wait in the quiet that stretches and holds,
I keep watch where nothing seems to move,
and yet everything leans towards Your coming.

My nefesh waits,
my life drawn out like a thread towards Your light,
my breath suspended between what is
and what You have spoken into being.

I wait for the Eternal,
as the dark leans towards morning,
as the earth opens to rain unseen,
so I remain, turned towards You.

In Your devar I place my hope,
in the Word that does not fade into silence,
in the promise that gathers form in hidden ways,
in the speaking that becomes what it declares.

So I wait for You, Eternal One,
with the whole of my being held open,
for what You speak is already on its way,
and Your faithfulness is rising, even now.

Hashem – 
Literally ‘the Name’.
This is a reverent Jewish way of referring to God without speaking the divine name.

Nefesh – Often translated ‘soul’, but it’s more than that, it’s the whole self, one’s life, breath, inner being, even physical existence.
 So, this is not just spiritual waiting, it is deep, embodied longing.

Devar – Word, but also promise, matter, or event.
 In biblical Hebrew, a ‘word’ is not just speech, it is something active and reliable, something that does what it says.

So, I wanted to capture an active waiting, longing with the whole self, and hope grounded in what God has said and will do.